Dancing With The Stars is a Dance crazed outlet for mediocre celebrities trying to get back the status of what once was.  If that’s the case, then this is a cast that I can live with.  Mainly because these stars are actually people that I remember and others that are actually still relevant.  How exciting!  I think ABC got it right this time by at least getting the good combination of Stars that still have a name regardless of where they came from.

Since the Star studded cast is quite big, this will be my first of two blogs giving a professional take on how the stars will do.  Let’s start with the guys first.

Will Ralph need Mr. Miyagi's hot hands to DANCE?

First up is the Actor category.  When you go into the casting call and find an actor that used to sit next to Mr. Miyagi on the same set of Karate Kid, I mean that’s pretty impressive by itself, but more importantly I think that having Ralph Macchio on the show is quite good.  I’m sure he’ll bring a little bit of old heart throb-ness from the 80’s to stir up some voting for him on this new season.  He’ll have to do a little sand the floor and paint the fence exercises to keep up with the rest, but a long overdue workout needed I’m sure. He should be an early crowd favorite.

Float like a butterfly, think I can SWING?

On the athlete’s side, you have a former boxer who was arguably one of the best in his time.  Mostly I’m worried about how he will do.  I don’t like the fact that they chose Sugar Ray Leonard to be the token old person.  Sugar Ray knocked out Floyd Mayweather!  He was the king of the ring.  He was the man and now you’re going to try to con him into being the old guy?  Sugar Ray don’t take no mess from no one!  You better hope he doesn’t look bad ABC because if he does, he may just sucker punch some innocent victim getting him some water offstage.  On the flip side, he was a great fighter and has the moves and quick feet of a boxer.  Good job ABC with picking him up.  He should surprise a lot of people.  You’re off the hook this time.

So You Think I Can DANCE? I'll pile drive you if you don't!

Wrestler Chris Jericho will make everyone think twice about whether or not big buff guys can dance.  He seems to have pretty slick moves in the ring, but I’d be most impressed to see him do a number where he jumps off the top ropes and gives someone a pile drive center stage as a finale.  I already have a routine picked out for him where his hype man from the WWE comes out and calls him out as a wimp and maybe disses his girlfriend, maybe his dance skills.  Chris Jericho comes out to AC/DC with smoke from the top of the stage.  Chants start to raise from each side of the crowd and he walks out in his wrestling attire.  Just his wrestling pants and boots with a bandanna.  He walks up to the guy and they get face to face like all wrestling matches.  The guy gets pissed off and tries to throw a punch.  Chris Jericho knocks him out with his signature move.  Puts a jacket on that he got from off stage and out comes his pro partner and they dance a cha cha.  Not sure how it will go, but I’m just saying.

One way ticket to Redemption City please.

I’m most excited of the athlete group about Hines Ward.  Fresh off a Superbowl loss (sorry Rosalinda and the city of Pittsburgh), I think he’ll bring with him a fire like no other.  He needs some redemption points for the lack of his teammates inabilities to produce a victory at this year’s Superbowl.  Not to say his professional partner won’t do a good job, BUT, I’d hate to see him get shot down because he decided to try to pull an “Emmitt Smith”.  Great for other jock guys to see that dancing could be done by jocks, but here’s my warning to Hines Ward of my image of him as an icon.  “Don’t mess up!  Work your butt off and learn how to do it right!  The city of Pittsburgh is counting on you especially since you lost your last Superbowl!”  Just kidding.   In all seriousness though, don’t mess up.

 

Can LOVELINE cure this Dancer's ailments?

“Psycho” Mike Catherwood is a radio personality on the hit show Loveline with Dr. Drew.  He’s got a good listener base and a great voice for the radio.  I listen toLoveline every so often and get my fix of the pair (whom btw are a great combination).  I have to say Mike, I was a little skeptical about you when you took over for Adam Carolla.  You had some pretty big shoes to fill with his comedic genius, but nonetheless, you did a great job filling in and are coming into your own.  Because of that I think you will do good dancing in front of your home crowd in Los Angeles.  You should get an early fan vote, but I have to wait to see your skills on the dance floor to see whether or not you deserve to be in the top of the scales.  All we know is the voice.  Can the dance back it up?

Rapper/Basketball Scholar/Mogul/DANCER?

Lastly is the Music group featuring Lil’ Romeo (who now wants to be called Romeo).  I guess he grew up and wants to change his name.  You should’ve thought about this when you were 10 and just save yourself the “don’t call me lil’ anymore because I’m not lil’” drama and stick with Percy.  He’s back from last season when he hurt himself and his pops “Master P” had to step in and get sympathy votes.  Like most young rappers, I would imagine he’s got some moves and can dance already.  He should be a good “Dance“ favorite with the judges and maybe a crowd favorite.  But look to see some good dancing come out from this rapper/USC Basketball Scholar/ Mogul.

SPOILER ALERT!!

Here’s my predictions.  First to go from the guys will be “Psycho” Mike Catherwood.  I’m sorry Mike, but it seems the others will probably do some better dancing and your fan base won’t be able to match with that of the others unfortunately.  I’ll vote for you, but let’s hope it’s not you.The WINNER?  Hines Ward.  Lil’ Romeo will probably take the third spot in the top 3.  Why?  Hines Ward is Hines Ward.  I can’t leave him out of it and neither can the state of Pennsylvania.  Have you seen Pittsburgh fans?  They are crazy people and they will be following him with many votes.  Lil’ Romeo gets the final spot as the guy that can actually dance.  He will be the token “I’m the best dancer but no one votes for the best dancer on the show” Dancer.

If I’m wrong, well then i guess I didn’t do all of my homework.  Maybe this article I wrote on a plane ride from Chicago to San Jose proved to be a stab in the dark as if this was someone’s life to read every article about what will happen with DWTS.  And if you are, join your local Arthur Murray Dance Studio and get out more.  Stop reading and start dancing like a star.

JG

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