Part 1- Learn. Friday morning. 7 a.m. Day 2 of Arthur Murray Dance Studios’ fabulous Superama. I’m preparing myself for a great day at work (not sure if you can call dancing for a living work, but it sure is a job that’s a lot of fun). As I’m going through my daily routine and applying makeup to my lightly tanned face I take a look in the mirror and strike a pose (as most dancers do). While in my waltz frame, I start to think about the world and dance. And how the world and dance are both things that I love (as most dancers think about). A thought strikes my mind, “How did I get so lucky to do this?” Maybe it was just by chance, or by design. And then it hit me. 2 things guided me to this industry (like most male instructors). 1-women and 2-men.
#1 Women- The women got me interested in how dance could fit into my cleverly planned smooth moves and pick up lines at local hang outs. I saw the movie Swing Kids and got hooked on how all the woman gravitated toward the guys that knew how to dance. Sure it was the movies, but who hasn’t seen a movie and started to immediately take on that role the moment the movie was over? Later that day I pretended I was a smooth Lindy Hopper trying to pick up on the ladies that ignored me once before. Although I had the swagger, I did not however have the cool dance moves down. That’s where Arthur Murray® fit in. I immediately called and demanded that women hang all over me like in the movies and although my needs were not met, they were satisfied with the understanding that one day I would wield a power that only few men possessed.
#2 Men- The men on the other hand were different. After about 3 months of taking lessons, I gained the courage of entering a local dance competition where I got to showcase my talents, cleverly named “Showcase”. I had mentioned to my instructor that maybe one day I’d like to be an instructor as well (after all, I was having a blast learning this stuff ) and was introduced to a couple of guys that she thought would be a good influence on me. They were both latin with their hair slicked back (similar to my cousins, but they had more style). One said “So you want to be a teacher, huh?” That’s right!, I said. “Well, maybe you just might fit in, IF, you have the right moves. You see, guys like us are high in demand and there are only so many good ones to go around” Sold!
That was all the influence I needed to make my decision. They quickly left to the dance floor and danced like I’ve never seen before. I looked around the room while everyone’s eyes were glued to their bodies moving to the rhythm. “I want to be like that one day”, I said. “I want to be the guy that all the people look at and admire”. It was then that I made the decision to be a guy in high demand. A man that can DANCE!
Over the many years of partner dancing there has been, in general, a shortage of men to dance with the lovely ladies that outnumber the male by at least 3 to 1. You would think that given the numbers, a smart guy would take his chances at the risk of maybe being a bit embarrassed and take those odds. A betting man would bet on himself to be the only one in a crowded room that dances with every woman that is either A) looking for someone to hold or B) wishing that the one they came with was more like you. Hmmm. Sounds like a Win-Win to me.
Meanwhile, Back at Superama.
Part 2- F.E.A.R. After applying a light set of foundation (Revlon Spice #45 to be exact), I glue my hair to my head w/ an enormous amount of hair gel/glue and what seems to be hairspray (or maybe a wood lacquer of some sort), thought #2 runs into my mind about men and dance. I mean, what guy wouldn’t want to do this? I feel pretty manly right now with my make up and extra hair product. I feel pretty manly right now as I slip on my latin shirt with the built in leotard that showcases the upper half of my bodacious chest accompanied by my latin pants that grip the bottom half of my torso which allows others to increase the way they see me from behind. I am reminded that I am in Las Vegas and I could be mistaken for a Chippendale (then again, that wouldn’t be a bad thing).
O.K. Maybe there’s the whole Perception vs. Reality thing going on (a False Evidence About Reality if you will). Maybe, what most men are watching is Dancing With the Stars and their sports icons wearing outfits that they would never be caught in public with. Maybe they’re seeing grown men on TV look like fools with their famous female “Dance Instructors” trying to move like a professional to choreography fit for the pros. Maybe, just maybe, they’re seeing the wrong image of what dance really is and their reality of dance is not the REALITY of DANCE at all.
Real men dance with women like in this short clip posted here. Real men rule the dance floor with their cool techniques and abilities to make the lady feel like a Real Woman. Not sure if the male species has heard, but women love the man that can hold them and sway their bodies like nobody else can. My wife. Case in point. If it wasn’t for my dancing, I would just be another skinny latin guy.
A friend and I once calculated the worth of our stock as potential suiters/boyfriend material before we were married. Needless to say, it was very low. In fact Enron has more value. Our wives would agree that our sexiness rating increases exponentially when we became dancers (the skinniness factors dissipate immediately after the first box step).
Here’s what we know about the DNA of a man (REMEMBER: All facts are derived from my own experience and the experiences of one other friend. So with that being said, I believe it should prove to you that I am now an expert in all men facts including behavioral patterns and social skills).
Every man wishes to be James Bond. Why? Because James Bond is the Ultimate Man (him and that latin guy from those Dos Equis commercials cleverly dubbed “The Most Interesting Man in the World”). So if that is true, then our job as MAN is to increase our inner Bond-ness by any means possible. The Ultimate guy, amongst other things, will have 3 main factors to him and one of them is the ability to Dance a lady into submission. For the other two, you will have to buy my book when it comes out.
It is said that a Women can tell a Man…
by the way walks into a room,
by the way he touches her,
by the way he moves his hips,
by the way he treats a lady,
by the way he holds her,
by the way he Dances.
Part 3- The Flip Side. I remember the first time I learned to dance. My cousins and uncles would make fun of me (as most latin families do). They would constantly sing Tina Turner’s “Private Dance”, dancer for money, do what you want me to do. One day I showed them a photo of who I danced with (my wife) and then the video that accompanied it. They haven’t bothered me since. Okay maybe they do, but not about the dancing.
I interviewed the lady clientele at every Arthur Murray I’ve been to and the answer is unanimous. Women love a man that can dance. One was even quoted as saying “the man that dances gets his chances.” However much dancing may increase the attractiveness of the female counterpart, Dancing, is not for every man. It’s not for the man that wants to have coffee down the street by himself having people watch him wondering “Poor guy. He has no friends.” It’s not for the man who would rather live the life as an online stud muffin avatar named Joe Biceps. Dancing is not for the man that prefers a good conversation about a mediocre book he read over an incredible social encounter with the person of his dreams. Lastly, dancing is not for the man who would rather live through a text field from a phone and social media (like the one you’re reading from now) than meet a real person face to face.
Part 4- Results. I recently met with a Vietnam War veteran that piloted for the 82nd airborne division. He recounted this story of his trip to China…
“I was on the Great Wall of China when I wanted to take a picture with a group of women I was with. When the photographer was about to shoot, I lifted one girl up and started Fox Trotting. We posed for the picture as we danced. She squealed like a school girl. I grabbed each one and with each one a different dance. Cha Cha, Rumba, Waltz. Each one screamed. The babes loved it and they loved me.”
If that’s not a man, I don’t know what is. A Vietnam vet (whom by the way had two lovely ladies on each arm while he told the story) testifying how dancing keeps him happy.
So if this is anything, it’s the role call to bring all the men that want to be THAT guy that the ladies search for. To be THAT guy that ladies flock to in a distressed situation. To be THAT guy that ladies dream about. I wanted to be THAT and it got me THAT girl.
If you know someone that could use this as encouragement or if you’re a man still asking whether or not dancing is right for you, listen to the millions of screaming women who agree how a dancing man please them so, how a dancing man is the way to go.
But then again, it’s all up to you. Your choice. However, you know what they say about a man that can Dance…:)
*all studies and stats are pure fiction. Results may vary depending on the Dancer and the move. Each move has the ability to make each women feel and act differently. Please use Dance and Dance affiliated venues with caution as it may cause heart related issues, including broken hearts (if not used properly) and excited partners.